I am here as a mother of four....and a smoker. I have been inspired by Barb to improve my quality of life, and the life of my children and join her in her journey to become a non-smoker.
I have made a deal with my mother. After reading Barb's posts and learning the effects of quitting in the first three days, my mom has agreed to take my children for me for 3 days (since that is how long Barb said it took her to quit feeling the insane cravings and feeling like she was crawling out of her skin) to allow me to "withdrawl" and keep my children from that wrath.
I will admit this; I'm not looking forward to it. Suffice it to say, my life has not been "non-stressful" in any way, shape or form, and smoking is my coping mechanism. I fear how I will handle my stress when I can't walk out the door for five minutes and have the momentary release. Those who don't smoke can not comprehend the true release that provides.
But I am a single mom. I am all they have. Well....I am not all they have....but my mother has no desire to raise them. And I don't blame her. And I have no desire to leave my children. And the additional "pocket change" that the cessation of this habit could provide would be a nice "raise".
I have been invited on a ski weekend with some friends. None of whom smoke and none of whom know that I smoke. It is a two day trip. My mother has agreed to take my kids for that trip plus one additional day to give me that time to survive those first three hellacious days and protect the kids from the inevitable irritable-ness that I will experience.
I don't anticipate that this is going to be easy in any sense of the word. But Barb did it. And I am hoping that with her support, and the support everyone has given her, and the Good Lord's help, I can kick this habit (that I have tried to kick so many times before) and begin a healthier lifestyle for me and my kids. I am putting it out there so that you can help keep me accountable.
Yikes. I'm scared.
The ski trip commences on Friday. My 3 days will be up on Monday. That leaves me 5 days to mentally prepare myself for this challenge.
The countdown has begun......